You’re Getting It Wrong

Melissa, Renee, and Holly explain why.

Update: This work, the work of anti-oppression, is not done in the service of gaining accolades and praise. This work is not done in the service of “who has it worse.” This work is done because people, actual live human beings are oppressed across the globe, and it needs to stop. Is that so hard to understand?

Another Trans Woman Killed

*Sigh.* So soon in the wake of Duanna Johnson’s murder; so soon in the wake of feeling joy at the thought of people coming together and helping out their fellow humans, I learn that another trans woman of color has been brutally murdered.

Transgender Day of Remembrance is Wednesday.

I’m too sick and tired for words, but might I add a hearty screw you along with others to the media for refusing to respect her identity and referring to her as a him.

Let’s all send our thoughts to her family and friends.

Yay for Wanda!

I simply adore Wanda Sykes.

[h/t: Shakesville]

We Are Not Monolith

So, when you unequivocally state that it is The Black or The Latin@ that caused Prop 8 to pass, I wonder if you mean people like this woman?

Or maybe people like this man?

Or perhaps these people?

Rev. Roland Stringfellow speaks out against Prop. 8

Or maybe you mean people like myself, or Renee, or Pam, or Terrance, or the Queer People of Color Collective, or Elle, or Sylvia?

This is why I find statements like this troubling:

I do know this, though: I’m done pretending that the handful of racist gay white men out there—and they’re out there, and I think they’re scum—are a bigger problem for African Americans, gay and straight, than the huge numbers of homophobic African Americans are for gay Americans, whatever their color.

Y’see, In my community, I know “huge” numbers of PoC and White folks that work for equality across the board. I have no doubt that there are also “huge” numbers of PoC and White folks out there that don’t, and have no desire to ever see it. Statements like this make me think that Dan Savage probably doesn’t get out there and rub elbows with a whole lot of PoC. Perhaps he does. I don’t know. But if he does, this is a pretty erasing type statement to me. It’s so subjective and demeaning to the “huge” numbers of PoC, both queer and heterosexual, that are out there fighting on behalf of all people. It just seems a little too convenient when the Facts Belie the Scapegoating of Black People for Proposition 8 that all of this scapegoating is going on now.

So, I say enough! Yes, it is royally shitty that Prop 8 passed. It breaks my heart to know that so much intolerance still exists in our society; but the blame-game has to go. I, as many others, stand in solidarity with my queer brothers and sisters of all colors. I am unwavering on that. We have to do this together, however, and pointing fingers at imaginary monoliths is not the way to go about it.

The change I would like to see: maybe, just once, we can begin to listen to each other and talk to each other rather than talk past each other.

It Doesn’t Work That Way

The first hint that I was about to come crashing down from my lofty and quite comfortable celebratory clouds was a comment left on a post where I expressed bafflement at the passage of Prop 8. The comment was nothing but a link to the exit polls. I followed the link, and after reading them, even though their was no actual commentary to go along with the link, I suspected that I was supposed to take note that 70% of Black Folks in California voted yes.

[update: I just noticed the email addy of the person who left the comment (something I rarely do, truth be told), and I realized that I know the person who left the comment, and can say that I now don't think there was any ill will in the leaving of said link]

Then, I saw a Tweet from Renee, directed to someone else, talking about people blaming Black Folks and Latin@s for the passage of Prop 8. I hadn’t read any of these accusation myself, but now, I can feel the clouds starting to dissipate right underneath me. Here comes trouble.

Then, I happen to head over to Vivirlatino, and what do I see but a post entitled, More Prop 8 Black and Latin@ Blaming. Then Joan posts this question: “And how do people get from ‘I’m gay and white and I voted for Obama’ to ‘black people owe me because of what I did for them?’”

Now it’s become clear to me that hanging up here in these clouds has made me a little blissfully unaware, and I’m not one to enjoy being blissfully unaware much. These clouds are getting thinner by the minute, but I know that when I land, as much as it will hurt, it will be for the better.

Does it matter to me that 70% of Black Folks in California voted “yes” on Prop 8? Yes, it most certainly does. It pains my heart. I agree with La Macha that Black and Latin@ communities have much work to do with regards queer issues. And I now realize that I should really be doing more myself to help heal these wounds and eradicate these prejudices. I am, nonetheless, equally pained at the notion that anyone is out there voting, or doing any other civic or activist or social justice act with the idea that they will be “owed” by other people. I am equally pained at the ease with which People of Color are so easily scapegoated, as if Prop 8 didn’t also pass with the help of a hella lot of White people as well.

You see, it doesn’t work that way. You vote for, you give aid to, you advocate for other people and causes because it is the right thing to do. If you’re doing it because you expect something in return, your doing it for the wrong reasons. No one wins in this situation because nothing has changed. No fundamental shifting of paradigms has occured. It’s simply, “I’ll throw you a bone if you throw me one back.” And the falling on the convenient (always marginalized, conveniently enough) scapegoat is just plain tired. You see it with Sarah Palin. Everyone is jumping in line to blame her for the Republican loss, and little is being paid attention to the horrific screw ups that McCain made as well. Palin throws “tantrums.” McCain has “anger management issues.” Palin doesn’t know the NAFTA countries, so she’s “ignorant.” McCain doesn’t have a friggin’ clue about economics and admits it, and he just needs a bit of education, is all. McCain doesn’t even know how many houses he owns, and yet it is Palin that is the “shopaholic.”

Now you may be wondering. Am I calling all of you so-called liberal folks out there who are so quick to blame the Blacks and the Latin@s for the passage of Prop 8 just as transparent and disingenuous and full of shit as those slimy republicans. Yes, in fact I am. Here’s a little advice from La Macha:

What this suggests to me is that communities of color have their problems–but largely white organizations seem to not value those communities until the time comes when they need them for their own agendas, and even then not so much.

Yes, it is a two-way street, so let’s leave all this blame-game/you-owe-us stuff behind and get to the actual work of reaching out, coming together, listening to each other, and maybe actually working for all this change that we claim to believe in.