What up kev,

Apparently you’re the anti-me and well respected by the only POC feminist.

Good video – let’s say I’ve had dialogue with many of those bloggers the last couple of days.

‘Sup Yobachi,

I’ve read through the threads that you refer to. Honestly, I don’t understand your defensiveness in this instance. I don’t think that BFP or anyone else was attacking you by raising the questions that they did. I too, was turned off by the “protection” language. I should have said something, but I didn’t, and shame on me for not speaking up.

I urge you to let go of the defensiveness here. Listen to what these women are saying to you. They are not the enemy. Let’s face it; a lot of times we men need to be schooled. It should be expected that we will fall on our faces from time to time, even with the noblest of intentions. Our society has instilled a lot of fucked up notions in our heads, from birth, that need to be questioned and changed. None of us are exempt from it.

So it seems to me that rather than getting defensive and hypothetically suggesting that you won’t “protect” the uppity feminists since they disagree with you on this, you should take this as an opportunity to reflect on the role you are playing in this struggle.

If we are to stand in solidarity with women, against the violence that they experience every day in more forms than we men can imagine, we must listen with an openness to accept that sometimes, try as we might, we will fall short of the goal. That is where the real learning and growth comes from.

From “Killing Rage” by bell hooks. I substituted NA/Asian/black/Latino for black because it works for all groups:

Concurrently, the negative consequences of sexist NA/Asian/black/Latino male domination will remain a taboo subject. Those of us who break the silence will be continually cast as traitors. Until this silence is repeatedly broken, NA/Asian/black/Latino will never be able to constructively address issues of positive gender identity formation, domestic violence, rape, incest, or NA/Asian/black/Latino male-on-male violence. We will not be able to challenge and critique sexism if the destructive impact of patriarchal thinking is always denied, covered up, masked as a response to racial victimization.

Individual, progressive NA/Asian/black/Latino heterosexual males who engage a critique of domination that takes feminist thinking and practice seriously as a radical alternative to the push to institutionalize potentially exploitative and oppressive patriarchal regimes in NA/Asian/black/Latino life must be more willing to act politically so that their counter hegemonic presence is visible. Working in collective solidarity with NA/Asian/black/Latino women who are active in progressive movements for NA/Asian/black/Latino self-determination that incorporate fully a feminist standpoint, these NA/Asian/black/Latino men represent a vanguard group that could begin and sustain a cultural revolution that could vigilantly contest, challenge, and change sexism and misogyny in NA/Asian/black/Latino life.

that video brought tears to my eyes. thanks for sharing, and thanks to Sudy for creating.

beautiful!

kevin, you were going to make the bell hooks quote a post.

Donna – Oh yeah, I was. My apologies, Donna. As my lack of blogging shows, I’ve been swamped with work lately. I’m trying to get my shit together though.

You’re an angel.

Take good care of yourself.